So the last week has been pretty hectic. Stan ran for, won (with some help from yours truly), and resigned his post as Deacon of our church. And I am pretty sure I ruined someone’s life in the process, but that’s ok. That smug bitch and her family had it coming. But still, I had a lot of fun doing it!
It all started on Sunday right before church. Stan has been obsessing about Chuck White and his family beating us to church for a while now. So much so that on this morning he was watching them get ready by spying on them with binoculars from our bedroom window. You’d think he would be watching his wife getting dressed but Stan has his own set of priorities.
Anyway, Stan realized that they were ready before us and snatched me up before I was even fully dressed. I didn’t even have a bra on! We sped all the way to church but the White’s still beat us there. That really put Stan in a mood. The day was pretty much already ruined so it didn’t help when the Deacon choked to death on stage. Then Stan had to go and volunteer to run for Deacon just because Chuck volunteered for it.
Great, now I had to deal with that mess. I wasn’t sure how I was going to help with that, but I knew I’d figure something out. Church isn’t exactly the easiest place to work my magic. I wasn’t sure I wanted to help either since Stan told me he was jealous because Chuck had a better house, car, and a better WIFE! Uggg. If it wasn’t for my firm belief that a wife should help her husband and family, always, I would have just let him fail.
A few days later we were on our way over to the White’s house to attend the wake for the former decon. I had made a bowl of my famous potato salad at Stan’s request but I knew we would need more than that to make a difference. Before we left the house I made sure to grab the little spy camera thingy I used at Agent Duper’s house so I could try to get something incriminating to help Stan win. I put on my fancy red blouse and medium length red skirt, pretty much my normal church attire, but I added a nice pushup bra to give my girls some extra kick.
When we arrived at the White’s house the first thing they said was that it was a ‘Manor’. Please… Smug assholes like that always get my panties in a bunch.. or they would if I wore any.
Chuck White barely looked at me, I suspected that he was secretly gay or something. His wife, Christie did give my chest an appreciative gaze.
Better wife my ass. I mean, sure she was pretty enough. But she was short, barely had any hips, and what was she a thirty-two B at best? I dunno, Stan just doesn’t appreciate what he has…
The party was a pretty average affair, most of our congregation was here. I realized that the cop from our pool party was here! I actually knew him, his name was Sgt. Tom Bradford. I wasn’t quite sure he had put the pieces together but when he looked over at me I saw him whisper something to a buddy of his and he turned to look at me as well and made a silent ‘WOW’ of approval. Apparently I made an impression.
I had to ignore them though, I had a job to do, so I started to snoop around the house instead.
Their house was fancy on the surface but cheap and overdone once you looked closely at it. Stan and Chuck worked the room trying to get votes and I noticed something peculiar about Chuck. He ignored the wives and daughters altogether and went right for the husbands and sons. I overheard him offer a few different guys what almost sounded like sexual favors for their vote on Sunday.
I tried to get it on camera but this doesn’t have video so it just looked like he was talking.
Anyway, he didn’t seem to be having much luck because he started looking more and more desperate. But I couldn’t leave the vote to chance, so when I noticed Christie standing alone and mostly unnoticed by the crowd it hit me. She was just a pretty trophy for this closet case.
And I could use that to my advantage. With a little help.