I quickly got dressed and we spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the neighbors. I am pretty sure he had figured out why I was so interested because he focused on who was married and who seemed lonely.. hehe.
One of the neighbors he mentioned was a new couple, the Memari’s, that had just moved in the other day. I remember seeing them move in. The husband isn’t much to look at but the wife is a real hottie. You know the type of middle eastern girl with thick wavy hair, dark eyes, and hips that scream fuck me!
I know, I know. What doesn’t do that for me… Hrm… I’ll actually have to think about that…
Anyway, it got me thinking, I wanted to meet all our neighbors. What’s better than having a network of nearby fuck friends to entertain me while Stan is at work? So I pitched the idea to Stan that we should throw a party. I whined and pouted and made a whole scene until he finally gave in.
I took him around to invite all the neighbors to a block party, I had all the names and info on everyone thanks to Mr. Tuttle so I made all the introductions. It felt good to seem so connected even though most of these people barely knew who I was.
When we got to the new couple’s house I was pretty excited to meet them. So excited that I had forgotten how Stan would react to the fact that they are middle eastern, Iranian I think. By the time they had come to the door, Stan was in full-blown CIA panic… but I didn’t really notice.
Linda was her name. And she was even cuter up close! When she shook my hand and introduced herself I noticed that her eyes lingered on my bosom for about as long as mine did on hers. Hehehe. Of course, I had mine puffed out a bit because I knew I wanted to impress her, I giggled a little inside when I saw her do the same after she seeing me for the first time.
I invited them to the party and Stan said something racist but overall it was a good first meeting.
The block party did not go so well… I tried my best to flirt with Linda but Stan kept trying to interrogate her husband Bob. Then, just as I was complimenting Linda on her beautiful eyes Stan freaked out, called the Memaris terrorists, and started shooting into the air.
This. This is why I have no friends.
Well no, what happened the next day is why I have no friends. Stan actually tricked Bob and Linda over to our house so he could lock them up in our back yard which he turned into a terrorist detainment center! He has time to do that but not enough time to lick my Jack Johnson… like ever… UGGGGG!
Stan eventually locked up all the neighbors… I had given up on the whole endeavor and was about to get hammered when Haley had the best idea ever. This wasn’t the world’s worst pool party, it was the world’s best theme party!
I threw on this sexy little blue skirt with purple lei flowers, it’s matching bikini top and purple heels completed the look. I took the ‘prisoners’ some snacks and Haley brought the drinks. It was a hit! Everyone was having a blast.
Everyone except Stan… of course.
He was furious that I was ‘fraternizing with the enemy‘ and it didn’t help when the power went out he thought we were under attack. I tried to tell him that everyone was here so they couldn’t be terrorists but he wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t until a cop showed up that he calmed down. I think the cop was from our church too!
He had one of Stan’s CIA sweaters and told us that it had been found at the power plant. That’s when Stan changed his mind about the neighbors… he decided instead he was the terrorist and had been brainwashed.
I can’t make this stuff up, this is what I live with every day…
Anyway, Stan ran off to the tool shed to interrogate himself. Again, this is my life. Which left the cop standing there with what he thought was proof that Stan was responsible for the power transformer damage.
I had to act quickly. Remember, a wife’s first duty is to take care of her family.
I told the cop that we should get inside out of the sun and that Stan wouldn’t go anywhere. He didn’t want to come at first but I let a strap from my bikini top fall down suggestively and told him, “Stan will be in there for a while…”
He got the point and followed me inside. I noticed Linda watching me as I closed the sliding glass doors and the blinds. She had seen what I had done and knew what I was planning. She had this look of shock and mischievous understanding.
Yea, she’s going to be a fun chick.
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